Oedipal Wreck
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Jeff talks about Annie to his latest one-night stand the next morning. It gets even worse when he finds out the woman was Annie's mother – and it improbably gets worse when Jeff has to somehow stop her from forcing Annie to leave Greendale. Last chap up.
1. Oedipal Wreck

It was an average and unusual Saturday night all at once for Jeff Winger. The end result was fairly conventional, as he returned home from a night out with a woman ready to sleep with him. But the unusual part was that although the woman didn't give out her age, it was clear she had a few years on Jeff. All he knew for certain was that her name was Carol, she had short brunette hair and blue eyes, and it was safe to assume she was somewhere in her mid-40s.

This addition to the Jeff Winger wall of fame didn't exactly fit in with most of the others. If Jeff was actually looking to get some action when he set out for the night, he probably wouldn't have given her a second look. But with his guard down and his playbook shelved for at least the start of the night, Jeff actually let himself talk to this older woman and grow to….tolerate it. She was a sharp number with a bit of an upper class tint to her, and a spark of youth that was hidden underneath those noteworthy eyes.

By the time they got to the drinking portion of the evening, Jeff figured he could pull the playbook out for a while to finish the job. And since he didn't need it that much by this point of the courting, it was an easy sell. So although the night had a few unusual twists to start off, it ended like most good ones; with a satisfied Jeff out cold by the time he finally let the both of them wear themselves out.

It was a good thing the drinking ran its course by the end, or else Jeff might have wondered just why he let his guard down for an older woman. He might have caught the irony of being the younger member of this tryst, after…..being on the other side in other…..connections. He might have even taken more specific notice of the color of Carol's hair and eyes than he meant to. So it was a pretty good thing that the drinking did run its course.

That course ended the next morning with Jeff waking up to the usual side effects. It ranked in the middle tier of his post-sex hangovers, so it was nothing he couldn't handle. Plus it seemed that Carol wasn't in his bed, so it looked like he wouldn't have to send her home and add any annoying awkwardness to the hangover. A tinge of something other than relief came to Jeff at that thought, yet he brushed it aside to keep the annoying awkwardness at bay.

Other than that, the evening couldn't have gone better even if he planned it out from the start. It went well enough that he could brush aside his….change of pace just this once. Still, it was probably best to not include this among his next group of sex stories to the study group. He imagined the age thing alone would give Pierce, Shirley and Britta enough joking and nagging material to last a week. As for the rest of them…..it probably wasn't worth imagining. Annoying awkwardness and all.

After getting himself dressed, Jeff headed into the living room and got a taste of that awkwardness after all. A fully redressed Carol was sitting on his couch to start it off, which explained why she wasn't in bed earlier. It looked like she had indeed gotten herself ready to slip out, yet she was still here; perhaps because she had gathered every picture, story and piece of memorabilia he had in this room of Greendale and the study group.

"Good morning, Jeffrey," Carol said when she finally looked up to see him gawking. "So this is what you've been doing in between lawyer jobs, I see." All right, so his line about being in between jobs as a lawyer didn't hold up anymore. And she actually knew that he was in Greendale now, which sure as hell couldn't be promising. But then again, they had already finished their night and these horror stories might scare her out of here faster.

"Yeah….it kills time about every four months, what can I say?" Jeff started off, as he tried to reboot his hung over brain for more clever one-liners.

"I'm sorry to pry. It's just that I saw all these interesting items around here and I had to look closer. After all, I've heard Greendale is….quite a unique institution," Carol stated, using perhaps the nicest possible words for Greendale. But before Jeff could give her a few Greendale nightmares, Carol held up a picture of the study group to throw him off. "Are these friends of yours?"

"Study group, technically," Jeff got out, even less eager to talk about them to a one-night stand. But he figured he should at least say their names and then segway to a few easy Dean Pelton jokes. "That's Britta, Abed, Troy, Shirley, Pierce and Annie….can't really study or survive the likes of Dean Pelton without me, really. Speaking of which-"

"Annie….something about that sounds familiar," Carol interrupted, as she seemed to have this sixth sense on how to throw Jeff off his best-laid plans. Before Jeff could regroup again and get this conversation on any other possible path, Carol kept going. "I remember reading a few years ago about an Annie who freaked out at her high school and ran through a window on Adderall. I think she was heavier than this girl, but the face still looks familiar. What was her last name….Edwards, Evans…."

"Edison," Jeff muttered before he knew what he was doing. Once he figured it out, he shut his eyes in frustration and gave the rest away to his sharp interrogator. "Yes, that was it! So this is that same girl….my goodness, what a difference a few years makes."

"Yeah, rehab and weight loss can help out too. So anyway, let me tell you about that crazy Leonard-"

"I didn't mean a physical difference," Carol pointed out. "I mean, I read that this girl was on her way to an impressive Ivy League education and career. Now because of pills and rehab, she's in this….vastly different environment. It's heartbreaking, really."

"Well, rehab doesn't need to share credit with the pills. They screwed her up but rehab got her out of it. Her own parents didn't want her to go, but she went anyway instead of sweeping it under the rug. Crazy, I know, but that's the kind of crazy she is," Jeff went on before catching himself once again.

"I should say so. Especially when saying nothing might have made her look a lot better. It certainly would have sounded better than this Greendale….from what I've heard of it, it sounds like the kind of environment a girl like that would go even crazier in," Carol stated.

For the third time, Jeff answered her without really thinking, yet he was even less self-aware of his words now. In fact, there was a bit of an offended tone in them this time. "It's kind of the other way around, when you really think of it. There are about 30 different levels of crazy there, and she's hardly in the top tier. In fact, she's usually the one that stops it from going to 40 or 50 levels. Granted, she's not as good at it when it comes to her precious GPA, but other than that she's the sane one! Sometimes not just by Greendale standards!"

The combination of Jeff's hangover, and his usual lack of inner filters when Annie is involved, led him to list off all her major adventures in the last two-and-a-half years. Granted, it was a bullet point summary and he left out certain details from ordeals like the debate, the Tranny Dance, the Rich incidents, and certain parts of the conspiracy saga. But after this little three-minute presentation, Jeff figured he had described Annie's insanity in the best way possible; if not the least suspicious way.

"I see…..so being at Greendale made her do all that?" Now that Jeff's right mind was coming back, he decided to just nod and not reveal any more out loud. Just as Jeff realized how unsettling it was to talk this much about Annie to another woman he just slept with, he thought he heard Carol mutter something like "I should have known…." Yet as he remembered that Carol was still there, she finally got herself up and stated "Thank you for a wonderful evening and interesting morning, Jeffrey," before leaving the apartment at last.

Jeff's mind barely had the strength to kick itself, but it tried anyway. It was probably inevitable, since his last three-four women didn't bring about any thoughts of Annie and that was too long of a streak to last. This was the first time he actually mentioned her out loud to them, however; as if this latest tryst wasn't historic enough. And now that Annie was back on the brain, it was clearer to Jeff just how ironic this past pairing was when it came to age. Or it would have if he didn't force his brain to kick itself at full strength.

So Jeff focused on the positive aspects instead, and fortunately there were just enough of them. He found a way to get Carol to leave that didn't get him kicked or slapped, she was probably too creeped out just now to call again, she likely didn't have the connections to make his Annie-blabbing come back to haunt him, and he learned his lesson about leaving his Greendale stuff so exposed. All in all, this was still a pretty good outcome; it may have dropped off the top 20 Winger hookups at the end, yet it was safely in the top 40 for sure.

This let Jeff have a pretty peaceful Sunday and got him recharged for the wackiness to come on Monday. He arrived at Greendale fashionably late as always, refreshed and ready for whatever deranged class, Dean Pelton harassment lines and movie genre was waiting for him. As he approached the study room, he saw that everyone else was already there and Annie was leading the discussion, looking a bit frantic as she talked. So it was shaping up to be a regular day after all; as if just being Jeff Winger wasn't enough of a blessing today.

"Okay, so is a 99 in Biology or Geometry the end of Annie world today?" Jeff joked as part of his entrance.

"Jeff, where have you been? No, don't answer, there's no time for your gross sex stories!" Annie rattled off. She didn't even have a hidden little smile for his joke….first out of the ordinary thing today, but not else to make it not normal. "Now I have to go through the whole thing with you, and I just got done drilling them!"

"Note how I didn't say I drilled Julie Newmar after that! See, unlike Jeff, I was paying attention!" Pierce boasted as obliviously as usual.

"Uh huh. So what do I have to keep ignoring, exactly?" Jeff asked in full monotone mode.

"Annie's mother called her and said she's coming to Greendale today," Abed explained. "Therefore, Annie's asking all of us to be on our best behavior, or else she'll ridicule her for her life choices more than usual, or worse. I'm supposed to quote only three movies or shows at most, Pierce has strict instructions to stare at her hair and no lower, Troy's going to pretend to be mute, Shirley's been confiscated of all but two crucifixes, and Britta will try in vain not to rant about how Ms. Edison gave matriarchal rule a bad name."

"You will realize it's mostly her fault if I slip up, right? I mean, this is a woman who ignored Annie's cries for help and cut her off just for saving herself in rehab! Not that rehab is the best solution to cure all addictions, and not that some drugs don't need to be rehabbed out, and-" And thus the usual Britta groans ensued to bring the day back to normal.

"Britta, that's coming out of the free rant time I promised you after Mom leaves!" Annie promised before turning back to Jeff. "Jeff, we don't have much time before she gets here, so I can only tell you not to do anything….creepy, okay? Don't hit on her, don't use your darkest one-liners, don't say anything about why you're not a lawyer! In fact, don't do anything to make her ask why I went to rehab, just to end up hanging out with someone like you, okay?"

"Annie…..since Abed can only mention movies three times, I guess I have to ask this for him. Are you doing the old 'I'm ashamed of my friends because I'm trying to impress someone who dumped me, unlike those friends I'm ashamed of' plotline? Because I don't have the energy to go through that on a Monday," Jeff explained as Abed nodded his approval for bailing him out.

"No, I'm not ashamed of you! And yes, I know it's stupid to impress someone who cut me off! But I just want to avoid fighting with her for once. She caught me by surprise already when she called yesterday and said she was coming over! I don't know why she's coming now, but just in case it's to make me crawl back home and transfer, I'd rather not give her more reasons to do that! So please, don't inspire her to nitpick my life that much!"

"Annie, if it means that much to you, I won't do anything. I'll just stay quiet, give her short answers, try not to get involved in something personal, and spend just enough time texting to not screw anything up. It'll be quite a challenge for me, but I will try to pull it off the best I can," Jeff said in full-on sarcasm mode.

"Yes, that's perfect! You should probably do 20 percent less texting, but other than that, it should keep her from getting too much ammo on me! Thank you, Jeff!" Annie exclaimed in full on sugary sweet mode. That almost made Jeff go into Annie smile mode, yet he quickly realized that he really needed to tone those down around her mother. So maybe just 5 percent less texting would help him keep that under wraps.

Just then, Jeff heard a knock on the study room entrance and then saw Annie's big Disney smile slip into a somewhat more forced, slightly less big smile. "Oh….hey Mom!" Annie said to help explain the change before she got up from her seat.

"There's my little Annie!" When Jeff heard that, the first thing that came to mind was how calling her "little Annie" didn't get this mother character off to a good start. The second thing was that this condescending statement had a somewhat familiar voice to it.

The third thing didn't come through to Jeff in time…..since his brain utterly collapsed when he turned around and saw Annie hugging Carol.

Jeff stayed stuck in a mental coma for a few seconds until the two broke apart. But when he finally saw just how similar the two really looked face to face, he wished he was back in the coma and the plug had just been pulled. "Everyone, this is my mother, Carol Edison," Annie somehow said loud enough for Jeff to understand.

"So this is the study group that the crazy bald man impersonating a dean talked about," Carol commented. Annie's smile got a little more strained, although it looked positively normal compared to Jeff's frozen expression.

Jeff tried in vain to move his face by at least an inch when everyone else said hello. Carol smiled politely and nodded at all of them…..then when she gazed at Jeff, her smile went up by just an inch or two. That was a very familiar smile, and not just because Jeff actually remembered it from Saturday night. It was the same secret, satisfied, all-knowing, seeing through Jeff smile that Annie haunted him with every other day….which made all the sickening sense in the world now.

Somehow, Jeff stopped himself from vomiting and tried to keep thinking. This yielded at least one positive thought, in that Carol wasn't shocked to see him here and was less likely to do something irrational like….share some things with Annie. She already knew Jeff and Annie went to Greendale together, and she had a whole day to make sure she didn't give anything away about her first time – meeting – with Jeff. And if she was Annie's mother, she was certainly smart enough to stay quiet about this.

Unlike Jeff….who just told her almost every single thing Annie ever did at Greendale yesterday morning. Unlike Jeff….who told embarrassing Annie stories to a woman that wanted Annie's past problems kept quiet, because of how bad it would make her and her family look. Unlike Jeff….who told Carol every single bit of material she would need to make Annie's life a living hell today. Unlike Jeff….who most likely directly inspired Carol to come here and try to take Annie away from Greendale and all her friends.

Oh, and unlike Jeff who slept with Annie's mom after a few hours, after doing everything he could over the last few years not to sleep with Annie too.

Yep, vomiting sounded pretty good right about now. But since Jeff couldn't hear a damn thing over his head coming apart worse than in any hangover, how would he know?


	2. I'm Annie's Mother

Disclaimer: Carol Edison is my creation, although I will take credit if the show has time to introduce Annie's mother and she turns out a bit like Carol.

For all Jeff knew, the study group was indeed toning it down for Carol….Annie's mother. Or maybe Pierce did get caught glancing lower than her hair…..which Jeff already did and then some two nights ago. Maybe Troy made the mistake of actually talking….but his baffled words couldn't have been more damaging than Jeff's words to Carol about her own daughter. Perhaps Britta already screwed something up….yet it would have been ironic on the day that Jeff officially Britta'd worse than Britta ever did.

Whatever was going on, Jeff was in no condition to pay attention. Not paying attention was an art form for Jeff, so Annie and the group took no account when he barely said anything during Carol's tour of Greendale. In fact, Annie was probably proud of him for staying quiet and not bothering Carol….as if it wasn't far far too late for that.

By the time Jeff was aware of his surroundings again, they were at the cafeteria and Shirley was leading Carol through this section of the tour. The rest of the group trailed behind, yet Jeff stayed in back to try and get his bearings straight. Unfortunately, Annie stayed behind too and obliviously made it harder.

"Well, aside from those four little slipups, I think this is going okay….right?" Jeff had no idea or memory of what slipups Annie was talking about. He was still fixated on one thing, and now he was starting to mutter it as well. "Carol…..Carol Edison. Your mother's name…is Carol Edison."

"Yeah….why, is there something weird or funny about it? If you have a joke, you'd better say it now while she can't hear you," Annie insisted. Jeff certainly didn't have a joke, or anything weird or funny to say about this. But he pretty much had to make up something before Annie figured that out….although even she couldn't possibly figure this problem out, thank God. Yet if she did…..

Jeff tried to shake that off and think of some other reason why Carol was a fascinating name. He ran through anything else he could think of that was related to the name Carol, or sounded remotely like it. And in the first break of the day, he actually realized something quite interesting. "Caroline…Carol…..oh my God, is that where you got the name Caroline Decker?" Jeff gasped, making the connection with Annie's fast living, bar drinking alter ego at Troy's 21'st birthday.

Annie shushed him and then quietly answered "Well….not at first. Caroline was the first name that popped up, but I didn't think of Mom until later. It did kind of make sense….naming a wild, free living, loosey goosey girl after someone not like that at all. I guess it became my way of poking fun at her, until the joke was on me." Jeff would have lamented again that Troy was the one to pick up Annie's spirits after that night, but he didn't have time.

This wasn't the first time Jeff heard Annie allude to her mother as even more uptight and rigid than she was. But that didn't gel with the Carol he met two nights ago, as she wasn't that standoffish and she certainly wasn't uptight by the end. At the least, this gave Jeff a chance to get some more insight on what he was really in for. "You know, for someone who's supposed to be less fun than you, she doesn't seem that….frowny."

"Oh, she still finds time to have fun. In fact, after the divorce she went out each Saturday or Sunday for 'unwinding time.' She planned out to the minute when she would enjoy herself, but she made it look so effortless. Like she didn't need to write out a schedule for fun and work at all. But she was an adult and she earned the right to relax a few hours a week. Since I was a kid and I didn't have an Ivy diploma or my own office yet, I couldn't have that schedule until I was 35, and certainly not when I was 17! That's not what Edisons do, and who was I to argue?"

Now Annie had to shush herself and was able to get recomposed before Carol noticed; not that Jeff was feeling brave enough to look at her yet. "Okay, so you undersold her crazy, that's cool. But that's why you stood up to her and moved out and got independent and can get her out of here really soon, right?" Jeff pressed.

"I know I should be able to. I mean, I stood up to her when I was on Adderall detox, but I barely got through that! If anything, she's probably more crafty and manipulative now, and the old her could have still mopped the floor with the new me! I know the new me should be good enough….but she was so good at controlling and tightening the screws on the old me. Heck, I'm still rigid and uptight and I plan out everything just like her, so she's still doing a number on me! I just….I don't want her to have a chance to mess me up even more. If that's why she's even here…."

Jeff didn't want Annie to finish that thought; especially since he had to find out why Carol was here before she told her. Hopefully it wouldn't be at least four of his worst case scenarios. But for now, he had to use one of the old Winger pep talks for Annie; at least it would bring him back to a shell of his old self before he took on Carol.

"Annie, whether she's here to control you again or not, it won't work. The group's doing everything they can not to set her off, and if they haven't failed by now, they must really want to come through for you! And if that doesn't work, they'll come through by giving her the full Greendale treatment and make her too scared to take you with her! Either way, you're going to stay cool post-rehab Annie for a little while longer, so don't evict that Annie yet. She's lucky she has a stronger landlord than she thinks."

Even in this crisis, Jeff was still able to pull a Winger speech out of his broken mind. Maybe he could go back to knowing he was awesome again sooner than he thought. Annie's usual reassured, post Winger speech smile certainly made an even better case for his awesomeness.

"You know, despite my….mixed feelings about Mom, I really looked up to her. Part of me still does. She was everything I wished I could be, and maybe that was the problem. I learned the hard way that I couldn't always count on her. Still, at least I know I can always count on you guys….and you too. Well, at least after you make up for some big mistake, but at least you're holding off on those so far!"

Yeah, he got his screw ups out of the way this weekend, so that helped. "Well, best behavior, right? Of course that entitles me to two big screw ups next time, just to warn you," Jeff bantered, trying to ignore his doubts on whether there would be a next time.

"Very well, you can consider me warned," Annie bantered back, in spite of the current situation. Even now, it didn't take much to put her and Jeff into their own little world and routine. Yet when Jeff finally saw Carol glancing at the two, it had to crumble much easier. "Well, uh, better get back to the mom wars, then. Faster we do that, the faster the cease fire, right?" Jeff stumbled over.

"Right….after you, then," Annie said with a smile, albeit one of her slightly forced smiles that lit up a bit less than her natural ones. Jeff usually tried to ignore those kinds of observations, yet they were downright safe compared to his other concerns for today.

Eventually, Jeff was able to excuse himself and go back to the study room to get a break from the Edisons. Now that he had some distance, he could finally come up with a plan to stop the coming apocalypse. But of course, a combination of Jeff's rotten luck and the infamous Edison sixth sense brought Carol back into the study room herself a short time later – and of course, she had to be all alone.

"Don't worry, I told them I was going to the bathroom. I don't think it'll be that unconvincing that I couldn't find it for a while around here," Carol explained as Jeff's face froze up again. "I won't bother to ask what my daughter said about me…..I imagine she's painted quite a picture of me for two years straight."

Slowly but surely, Jeff brought himself to move a few muscles; especially since this was his first chance to get actual answers before he got tarred and feathered. "Did you….meet me just to get information on Annie?" Jeff managed to open with.

"Of course not. It was my allotted Saturday night fun time, and I was out for my allotted monthly hookup. I was perfectly willing to wham and bam you and head on my way, until I saw those pictures of your friends...and my daughter. I only planned to trick you to get information then, but I didn't think I'd get that much of a goldmine. As you can imagine, Annie tells me very little about what she does at Greendale, or who she does it with. I heard a few gut wrenching things before, but I didn't think the madness was that….extensive until you filled me in. So it inspired me to research deeper and fill in the blanks after I left you, and here we are."

Now that Jeff officially knew he screwed Annie over worse than usual, he tried to vein to do what little damage control he could. "You….you do realize everything I said was about how great Annie is in Greendale, right?"

"By your limited ex-lawyer standards, maybe. By better ones, it's clear that I've let Annie embarrass herself again long enough. It's time for her to come home, get back on track and stop the latest damage she's done to her family name. I knew she was probably humiliating herself here from the start, but I was content not to find out how and wait for her to crawl back and apologize. Then you ruined that for me and my research filled in the rest, and now here I am to fix her mistakes once again."

"Annie's…..mistakes don't need that kind of fixing. She's gotten herself out of trouble and gotten her friends out of it just fine," Jeff explained, as his Annie-defense mode was kicking in and getting him back on his feet. "She's perfectly happy here, and she'll be a bigger success than she would have been without rehab, and she's already a better woman too!"

"Woman? We both know that's not the right word for her. If you didn't know that, you would have slept with her a long time ago! But I saw too much tension back there to know you haven't, as much as you might want to! I would have known that even without doing research on that debate and that transfer dance!" Jeff didn't even know how to begin denying all that, and he was as good at denial as anyone since coming to Greendale. So he could only ask "How….could you possibly come to believe all that?"

"I'm Annie's mother, Jeffrey. I think you know that means I'm smarter than you. That helps me figure out a few things….like why someone who usually craves young flesh could possibly go for an older woman. Or why you were drawn to this specific older woman. Or why you kept going on and on about Annie even after sleeping with this older mother. Even if you didn't know who I was until now, you can stop denying now why someone with my hair, my eyes, and my personality made you ignore our age difference….much more than you have with my daughter."

Jeff's denial was officially on life support, so he reverted back to his next best skill; deflecting and changing an unpleasant Annie-related subject. "I think you're giving your personality too much credit. It's nothing like Annie's, and she knows she's all the better for it. That's why this little plan of yours isn't going to work."

"Again….I'm Annie's mother. You and I both know her better than anyone in this world, but I had a 17-year head start on you. I know how to get to her and I know I will make her see the light this time. Especially now that I know that when she doesn't, she lives above sex shops and with pop culture obsessed children, dirties herself in paintball, celebrates Christmas, associates with unspeakably awful anarchists, and throws herself at depraved older men! That will all end right now….and you won't do a thing to interfere."

"Just where did you get that delusion, exactly?" Jeff demanded, although in the back of his mind, he already knew the answer even before Carol came in. "Do I really need to say what I'll tell Annie if you get in the way?" Carol replied, which was quite enough to answer Jeff's question.

"You're bluffing," Jeff answered as his denial kicked right back in. "You'd really tell her that you slept with….her friend? I'm sure that'll make you mommy of the year in her eyes and make her do anything you wanted!"

"That doesn't matter, I already know she doesn't look up to me anymore. She still looks up to you, even against all logic and reason. But information like this would finally make her come to her senses….so much so that she'd never go within 10,000 feet of you again. That's just far enough to make sure she never comes back here. You know I can't possibly be wrong about that."

Instead of admitting he knew that all too well, Jeff came up with one more extremely desperate argument. "Go ahead. It'll be your word against mine, and she trusts my word much more than yours. She does look up to me against all logic, which makes her believe things like I'm a good person, and that I wouldn't sleep with her mother or tell her everything she's done at Greendale! So good luck bursting that bubble!"

"Oh, I don't think I need that now," Carol cryptically hinted as she reached into her pants pocket. Somehow Jeff knew deep down what that meant, even before Carol pulled out an audio tape that had recorded their entire conversation. "Annie's….mother," Carol repeated, which was enough to explain her being that well prepared.

"Don't worry, you can come get this little bit of proof from me," she offered as she put the tape back in her pocket. "You just have to reach in and get it. We already know you don't mind getting into my pants. Since you know my connection to Annie now, it should be even more tempting to grab at me, right?"

Of course it really wasn't, and Jeff knew that and he knew that Carol knew it. But that didn't stop him from shuddering and backing away from her and her pocket, which made Carol chuckle knowingly. "I thought so. So, once I edit out the bad parts of that recording, it should be ready to reveal at a moment's notice. I don't want to traumatize Annie like that, but if you really want to, I suppose I can't stop you. It would be so futile, after all."

Jeff went back into his seat, at a total loss about how to handle an Edison once again. Yet trying to outwit this Edison was a great deal less fun than it usually was. "Jeffrey, we both know this is going to happen. And we both know that Annie should be somewhere much better than this….community," Carol reminded him.

"Of course I know that. But at least I also know she should get there because she earned it, not because her psycho mom is making her. She knows that too, and that's why I don't need to do anything. Because she'll stand up to you and say no like she did before!" a rejuvenated Jeff promised.

"She didn't hear that I was sleeping with her dream old man before. I think that will give me the edge this time. If she says no, I'll have to play the tape and scare her out of here anyway. If I catch you interfering, I play the tape then too. If something wackier happens to intervene, like Annie's father reappearing out of nowhere, or some kind of science fiction parody, or that Abed lunatic attacking me as Batman, I will accurately blame you and play the tape. In fact, just assume that anything other than her signing transfer papers will make me play the tape, and act wisely from there."

All of Jeff's other ideas were being shot down, so he went back to being quiet and ruing the day he even heard of the Edison family. "Like I said, I don't want to go that far. I still owe you for….filling my allotted time for fun, and for keeping Annie from that awful rehab again. I'd like to help her leave this place and you on good terms….it's what's best for her, really."

"You don't know what's best for her….then or now," Jeff said defiantly, but with a somewhat defeated tone.

"But it's not like I have the strongest competition," Carol reminded him. "At least she knows where she stands with me. I don't string her along, make her believe things about me that aren't there, or sleep with her mother just because I'm that ashamed of wanting to sleep with her. And yet I'm the only one she rejected…..for now, anyway."

"Gee, if I had seen this side of you that night, I wouldn't be in this mess, would I?" Jeff said sarcastically and truthfully.

"Oh, I don't know if your standards are that high. Besides, I'm not a bad person, no matter how much Annie lied about it. I suppose you have a talent for making Edison women, and girls, lose their moral compass. At least going cold turkey from you is one brand of rehab I can approve for her."

With Jeff out of defiant words, Carol snapped out of evil blackmailing mother mode and went into a perky Annie-like smile, in spite of how it tarnished the real thing. "Well, I think we've both tried to find the bathroom long enough. My poor, thankfully ignorant little girl must be missing me by now. We'll be waiting for you to return and do nothing, although it would be a rare case of you doing the right thing by Annie. But us Edisons have a knack for hoping for the impossible, don't we?" Carol patted her pants pocket with the tape in it for one final blackmail reminder before finally leaving Jeff alone.

Yet it wasn't like Jeff was totally alone, as he was joined by his frustration, anger and that nagging, tiny feeling of guilt that usually flared up when Annie was involved. It was even worse now that another Edison was activating it, and one far less…tolerable.

Jeff was used to sleeping with women that he couldn't wait to get away from the next day, but Carol did a good job of staying off that list until her next day. She really hid her psycho parts well; yet considering her family tree, maybe it wasn't that shocking that she was that clever.

Comparing Carol and Annie was a very unpleasant thing to do now, although it was downright impossible to deny it could be done. They were both exceedingly smart, exceedingly talented at getting under Jeff's skin, well prepared for anything, obsessed with getting their own way and were very, very good at getting it. It really wasn't hard to see where Annie got most of her gifts from.

And yet the gift of wrapping it in a kind, generous, bubbly, all too sweet, idealistic, loving package was all Annie's. If Carol had that, she lost it long ago before she could pass it on to her daughter.

At that point, Jeff came to his latest unpleasant revelation. Carol was pretty much the walking embodiment of what he was afraid he would turn Annie into by….being closer to her. Cold and uncaring of what others wanted, caring about her own success and image above all else, and too rigid to have unconditional love for anyone; even her children. And yet Jeff knew he didn't imagine how that Annie-like spark of fun, joy and excitement was in Carol that night. Even if she carefully planned it out and wasn't as spontaneous as Annie could be when she let go.

Carol had just enough charm, appeal and allure to draw Jeff in against his better judgment, just like Annie. And yet it was buried underneath years of cynicism, work, image building and intolerance of anything that wasn't according to her plan; just as it would be for Annie if Carol got her way. The hints of her old delightful self would still be there to draw everyone in; only to let them down when her dominant rigid self took back control and sucked all the life out of her and them. And for all that Jeff had done out of fear that he would turn Annie into that shell of herself, he just made sure it would start happening today instead.

For once, he wasn't that quick to ignore the nagging Annie voice in his mind. Especially since it said this time that if he had been honest with her, talked things out and actually acted on what he felt, he wouldn't have had to seek out another woman and make all this happen in the first place. But he pushed that thought away, even though it took longer than usually to wash away ideas like that.

It was too late to dwell on that now, or do anything else to both stop Carol and keep their dirty secret from Annie. It looked like the only thing Jeff could do was trust Annie to stay strong, refuse her mother again and prove she could stand on her own two feet against her. Then again, that was one of the many triggers which would make Carol play the tape.

The worst part was that Carol was probably right, since this would finally be the thing that made Annie realize she needed someone better than Jeff, or Greendale for that matter. By all accounts, the right thing to do really was to stay quiet and let Carol take her away.

Yet in spite of Annie's best efforts, Jeff still wasn't one to do the right thing.

Unfortunately, this was a hell of a time not to know what the right wrong thing to do was.


	3. Genre Defying

Jeff's only option for the moment was to pay close attention to Carol and see just what her insidious plan really was. However, instead of needling Annie and working her manipulations on her, she seemed to be working on the rest of the study group as their outing through campus continued.

Abed had worked through his three allowed movie/TV references pretty quickly; so when Carol went on a spiel against a number of Abed's favorite shows and films, it almost made Abed's robot face visibly twist from not being able to defend them.

When Chang inevitably barged in to do his crazy guard act, it was enough to make Jeff and Annie nervous then and there. But Carol actually took Chang's security harassment well; or at least did an incredible job pretending to; stating that authority figures had every right to do this. The angry tics in Britta's eyes were probably exactly what Carol was going for.

Since Carol already knew about Troy and read a lot of Annie's diary entries about him while she was in rehab, it gave her the pretext to ask him a lot of questions. She didn't get any answers since Troy was under a gag order, but it seemed like she didn't really mind.

Even if Carol actually saw Annie and Britta restrain Shirley behind her back after she talked about the superiority of Hanukkah, she probably wouldn't have minded that too. Jeff didn't want to think about how she would goad Pierce into acting like his usual deranged self; something about race or breasts would probably be involved.

It was pretty clear by now that she knew Annie wanted to keep her friends from acting up, and was trying to get them to do it anyway. Since she did do her research on all of them, she knew very well how to get their ire up and set them up for wacky breakdowns. Although this would likely put her in much deserved agony, it was a price she seemed willing to pay to make Annie disappointed in them; and to set the stage for Carol to browbeat Annie's life without it looking like her fault.

Jeff still stayed quiet through it all, while Carol didn't even try to talk to him or needle him. But she didn't have to target him specifically; she knew this entire act as a whole was making him crack up. And of course, they both knew the consequences if he actually cracked and spilled the beans about it all. Yet with every jab at his friends and every time Annie wrung her hands in fear, it got much harder to keep quiet; and got much more aggravating when he remembered why silence was golden.

But at this rate, he had to tell someone what was going on or he would crack up. Then Carol would play the tape in front of Annie and the group, and then the others would probably want him gone too. After he helped drive Annie from Greendale for good and cost the group their only study expert, what else could they do? There certainly wasn't anything Jeff could think of to avoid that worst case scenario, at least not by himself.

There was really only one person who could help him; and do it without freaking out and bashing him over what he had done first. Luckily, this friend really needed to get away from Carol at the moment too.

"Abed, you look like you need a snack. Would you care to help me pay for mine while you're at it?" Jeff asked once the group got back to the lounge area.

"Cool. Very cool cool cool," Abed stated, as the added "very" indicated how much he wanted to leave, even if his face was as blank as ever. Jeff thanked whatever agnostic Gods were out there for that one small favor, as he led Abed away from the group and towards the vending machines where Carol couldn't spot them. She probably already knew Jeff was trying to work out a plan against her, and was probably planning out when to play the tape in response. So Jeff had to act fast if this slim hope of stopping her could work.

"Abed, you want to talk about movies and TV again, right? But you can't as long as you have to restrain yourself around her, and she's making it very hard for you. I know for a fact she's doing it on purpose." Jeff started when they were out of Carol's range.

"I knew she reminded me of Hannibal Lecter without the cannibalism. Or the Joker without so much makeup, or Emperor Palpatine with slightly less makeup, or Hans Gruber without the accent, or-" Jeff stopped Abed there before he relapsed too much for him to help out.

"Anyway, she's also got me in a….huge problem right now. I can't figure out how to stop it, but you have to know some kind of movie or show with the same plotline! Tell me how those fictional characters got out of it and I can make it work in real life before it's too late!" Jeff demanded.

"Well, I'd need to know the plotline, of course. Let me take a stab at what genre it could be first. Considering that this sounds like a Jeff/Annie-centric episode, it has to be one of the romantic genres. But you go back and forth between romantic comedy and romantic tortured melodrama all the time, and you haven't done melodrama in a while. Adding her mother is dramatic enough to set up an extended spring sweeps arc before the third year finale, so….."

"I slept with Annie's mother, is that dramatic enough for an arc?" Jeff finally whispered in frustration. This shut Abed up, but it got more unsettling when he didn't mention any more TV clichés or say anything else for several seconds. Since Jeff actually seemed to shock the all-knowing Abed, he figured there was no sense in holding back the rest now.

"Okay, so the thing is I didn't know it was her when I slept with her this weekend. But she stuck around and found pictures of Annie, tricked me into telling her everything about her…..and now she's trying to force Annie out of Greendale because of it. By the time we get back, she'll probably make Pierce go on a racist rant or grab her boobs. Then the others will act normal again too, Annie will freak out, and Carol will start turning her against them and Greendale. Or she'll just play an audio tape of me confessing to banging her mom, and just make her turn against me. Either way, Annie will be gone forever unless you have some TV cliché that can help me stop her mom!"

Abed still stayed quiet, but it did look like he was scanning his robot brain for the right plotline to reference. Jeff waited on baited breath to see which movie or TV character he should be like; only to then hear Abed say "I got nothing."

"Come again? And do you mind coming again with a real answer?" Jeff forced out. "You're….Abed! You have to know what movies and shows did this before and how they got out of it!"

"The real answer is I got nothing. This is a very unique, genre defying mess you've gotten into. Maybe Ms. Edison made me rusty, or maybe you really found an original plotline for the first time. Sleeping with the mother of a forbidden love that isn't really that forbidden….having to stop her from ruining her daughter's life without exposing their affair…..I can't think of an American show that says how to deal with that. I'm even drawing a blank through all 46 years of Inspector Spacetime."

"E tu, Abed, TV _and_ Inspector Spacetime?" Jeff groaned out in lue of banging his head against the vending machine. "Then that's it….the only one that can bail me out is me. Which means we might as well say goodbye to Annie right now."

"Granted, without remembering a show or movie that's done this sort of thing, I can't help you. But in regular plotlines with romantic misunderstandings and family turmoil, things spiral out of control because no one tells the truth until the third act. Perhaps since you've already been original so far, you could keep it up by defying this genre rule too. Tell Annie the truth before her mother does in the third act, and it might foil her plans early. At least it'd give you more of a fighting chance than if she told her first."

"Abed, why did you have to pick today to finally be wrong about something? At least tell me that much. Even regular you would realize no matter who tells Annie, she'll never speak to me or go near Greendale again," Jeff reminded him.

"Is your goal in this episode to keep her from never speaking to you again, or to keep her from never going near Greendale again? The two aren't one in the same, you know. Even if she finds you gross and never looks at you the same, that doesn't mean she would leave everyone. She's at the point of her arc where she doesn't need just you to define her character, or her time in Greendale. I thought you were at the point of your arc where you stopped underestimating her like that. But I guess you're still a full season away from that milestone. It does make sense to save that before the finale, however, so I can't hold it against you."

Jeff was a bit relieved that Abed was back to his old form, but it wasn't helping him the way he wanted yet. "I don't underestimate her like I used to, you know that. But it's….a different thing with her mother. If anyone can make her…..regress her character development, she can, and she's already blocked me at every turn!"

"Right, that Hannibal level of evil can mess up character development rules. Well, if she does succeed, Annie might just leave for the rest of this year, only to come back and reset everything at the start of year four. Since your character hasn't been redeemed enough to wait that long yet, I suppose that's not an option. That brings us back to you telling the truth first. Then she might only leave the group for a few episodes, come back and act distant around you, and then set up a dramatic reconciliation in the year three finale. I can't say if it would lead to you starting a relationship for year four, or just end with another making out cliffhanger….it could go either way with you two. If it's the cliffhanger option, you'd probably have to have sex to top yourselves. But if you don't start a relationship even then, there might be backlash that you can't afford going into the final year. Shippers are impatient like that."

Jeff really started to not listen when Abed brought up telling Annie the truth again. Then by the time he got to relationships and sex, it took everything not to cover his ears and yell "La la la!" Shouldn't the ultra-observant Abed know that this was not the time and place to put those thoughts in Jeff's head? He really was incredibly off his game today. "Are you sure there isn't one pop culture cliché to keep Annie here without the truth coming out from anyone?" Jeff asked to give Abed one last chance at redemption.

"I don't know. I could double check Inspector Spacetime seasons 4, 8, 15, 16 and 23 again, but I don't think I'd have enough time right now." With Abed's admission, Jeff slid back into the increasingly familiar feeling of defeat.

"I shouldn't be shocked. If you've taught me anything, it's that real life is messier than TV. In TV, this sort of thing would be resolved easy and everything would stay the same. Especially since this isn't happening in February or May sweeps," Jeff said mockingly. "And in TV, when this sort of thing comes out, writers could make Annie speak to me again after this, no matter how little sense it made. But real life is messier and more logical….so that won't happen. So much for our 'unrequited love' paying off in the 'series finale,' huh?"

"Hmm, I recognize that cliché. The one where you got exactly what you wanted and didn't like it….there's hope for your predictability yet," Abed exclaimed.

"Abed….there are many ways for me to take that. Please talk me down before I indulge in the angriest ways," Jeff insisted.

"I didn't mean you wanted to sleep with Annie's mom and get in this plotline. I meant that you have claimed you wanted Annie to fall out of love with you for a while. This twist would certainly do it and give you exactly what you wanted. But it sounds like you don't want it to happen here….so like so many TV antiheroes, getting what you want won't work out for you after all. Especially after you realize, or finally admit, you never really wanted it. Or does that come later in the third act? Truthfully, I expected you to go through this arc next year, so I didn't give it much thought until now."

"I'm pretty glad you didn't. No matter what I….wanted regarding Annie's feelings, I didn't want this. I wanted us to stay friends once she came to her senses about me. That won't happen now," Jeff reminded Abed.

"Assuming she leaves Greendale when the truth comes out. If she stays, time will heal her hurt and you'll probably become friends again, although any romantic attachment would finally be too creepy for her. If she leaves, she'll have the better life away from here that you also wanted for her. If you're not happy about either of these outcomes now, it brings us back to the 'you don't want what you said you always wanted' cliché. Which means you don't want her away from here or from you, and that you don't want her to turn off her feelings either."

"Abed, I've never been in the right state of mind to work all that out, and I'm sure as hell not in my right mind now. I just want to stop Annie from leaving because her mom will turn her into….well, her if she goes back with her! That's it!" Jeff pressed on.

"Then it seems the only plot twist with that potential outcome is to tell the truth yourself. It'll stop her mother from doing it, give Annie a better chance to stay in Greendale, stay her old self, and never think romantic thoughts about you again. If you just want her to stay, it sounds like finally making her kill her crush on you would be worth it. Unless that's not just what you want. But again, I thought your character wouldn't have a dilemma like this until next year. So don't feel too bad if you get it wrong."

It was pretty much too late for that, but since they were going around in circles, Jeff didn't have the strength to argue anymore. So he just actually got a few snacks from the vending machine, in order to make themselves less suspicious to the group when they did return.

On the way back, Jeff tried one last time to make sense of it all while the Edisons weren't around. If Carol told Annie about what happened, she would certainly frame it in the right way to make Annie leave forever in disgust. If Jeff told her, she was still 99 percent likely to do the same….but if he got to tell her, there could still be that 1 percent chance to spin it the right way. Or at least spin it better than Carol would, and give Annie at least a fighting chance to keep herself in Greendale….even if it didn't keep her close to him. Or as close as he had strategically allowed her to be without getting any closer.

As much as Jeff refused the possibly of him and Annie, he had never quite gone the extra mile to shut that door forever. This would probably do it….but would he really be willing to? If it meant even a slightly better chance to keep her mother from taking her away and sucking out the Annie he….cared about, wasn't it worth likely shutting that door for good? And if not…..

Before Jeff could figure out how to back away from that line of thinking….if he actually could this time…..he heard a bit of shrieking from around the corner. It sounded like Pierce had indeed gotten offensive right on cue, as per Carol's plan. Now she was pretending to be offended, and that would start a certain chain reaction that blew the group's whole façade up according to plan. Most likely by the time Jeff and Abed turned the corner and saw the group, Britta and Shirley would let their righteous fury out, Troy would let out a bunch of loopy one-liners, and Annie would be set to pull her hair out in fear.

"Well, time for the full group to have its last freak out together. At least they're going to send Annie out with their loudest chaos yet. All it's missing is….." And with that, Jeff finally had the backbone of his final, desperate plan to avoid the consequences of his actions. It would subject Carol to an even more God-awful fate than arguing with the study group, but it's not like she didn't have it coming. It might fuel Carol's rage to cut down Annie's lifestyle, and Annie would certainly be even more upset in the short term. But in the long term, this was the last, best shot to stop this without….making certain sacrifices.

"Abed, you go help the group distract Carol and quote as many movies as you want. I'll be right back," Jeff promised as he rushed off.

"Yep, a year too early for him. But at least that should mean we'll get another year after all. Cool cool cool," Abed said before heading off, hoping he could finally set Ms. Edison straight on the Kickpuncher series before Jeff exacted his predictable vengeance.


	4. That Kind Of Man

By the time Jeff returned to the lounge area, he could barely get through the crowd of onlookers watching, recording it on their phone and Tweeting the play-by-play. It seemed he had returned just in time for the tail end of Shirley's attempt to exorcise Carol. Britta looked exhausted from whatever rant she was finally allowed to get out, while Pierce, Troy and Abed were sitting back and making their usual commentary, and Annie was covering her face in humiliation and fear.

Yet when she finally saw Jeff through her fingers, she jumped up in relief. "Jeff, where have you been?" she asked, but Jeff just tried to take in her look of hope, on the off chance this was the last time he ever saw it. Before Annie could question why he wasn't saying anything, her optimistic look vanished when he saw who was next to Jeff.

"Chang the phone, ladies!" Chang called out as he pathetically tried to stride over to Carol and Shirley like a tough cop. "So this is what I get for not searching the MILF closer. Well, that's one wrong I've just got to Chang! Empty your pockets, ma'am!"

"What fresh insanity is this? She's the one trying to convert me, go violate her!" Carol insisted.

"Wow, you just questioned an authority figure! I guess I have new competition for hippie queen now, don't I?" Britta taunted. If even she could come through exactly as Jeff hoped she would, he realized he could breathe a little easier now.

"Oh come on, this man is hardly an authority figure! There are loopholes that apply in cases like that! Therefore, I am not a hypocrite for refusing that order, so there!" Carol concluded. Unfortunately, she was too busy covering her tracks to notice that Pierce had come up behind her.

By the time she did notice, Pierce had put his hands in her pockets and pulled them out, making everything inside them fall to the floor; including a small gray tape recorder. Jeff was counting on Chang to do that when he brought him here to break up the fight and do a more thorough search on Carol. But he'd take Pierce being more hands on for the first and last time ever.

"Ha, an American does a Chinese man's job for once! USA, right? USA!" As Pierce tried to get a USA chant going, Chang collapsed to his knees and screamed in horror at being beaten. While Carol looked bewildered at it all, Jeff rushed over to her; and strategically made sure to step right on the tape recorder. "Pierce, this is no time for one of your USA chants, okay?" Jeff exclaimed; coincidentally while stomping on the recorder every few words. By the time he got to "okay?" it was pretty broken, and so was the tape inside it.

Carol finally noticed what Jeff had done and froze in place, as Jeff put on a fake smile of support. "I am so sorry for these mental cases, Ms. Edison. Is there anything I can do?" Jeff asked with barely contained glee at his success.

"Yes, actually there is," Carol started as she picked up everything else thrown out of her pockets. "You can explain why this entire school is filled with these unhinged 'mental cases' poisoning my daughter. You can explain why someone who was supposed to be in Princeton by now willingly wastes her life in this cesspool of stupidity! I knew rehab would eventually destroy her, but to have it happen this thoroughly….can you possibly explain that?" Despite Carol's likely scripted anger, Jeff still couldn't stop smiling now that her biggest weapon was destroyed.

"Nope, I've got nothing. But you have no proof that my mouth is good for stuff for that, so don't be too disappointed in me," Jeff gloated.

"Fine…I'll ask Annie, then. Annie, I think you owe me a few answers in your study room, right now." With that, Jeff's moment of triumph was dampened a bit, now that Annie was about to face what was left of Carol's arsenal. He finally turned to see a thoroughly embarrassed, timid Annie, trying in vain to hold her mother back with the Disney face. "Mom, can't we-"

"Now, dear," Carol flatly said, completely unfazed by Annie's crumbling face. So there was someone immune to it after all. But while Carol left for the study room, Jeff and the others had to stay to see Annie's face totally collapse, and then scrunch back into anger.

"I asked for one full day without your nonsense, and _this_ is what I got? Do you know what you just doomed me to now?" Jeff tried to look unfazed since he did just save Annie from a fate worse than death, and she was too angry to remember that her mom baited them all into screwing up. But that unfazed look just set Annie off even more when she noticed it. "And what were you doing bringing Chang here to finish the job?"

"Do I look like I finished it? Pierce got a handful of your mom's bits, not me! Those hands should be mine!" Chang yelled. "Don't think I can't bite them off when you sleep, old man!"

"Oh yeah, how about now?" Pierce asked before going back to the couch and sitting on his hands. "Wait a minute, that'll just make you more tempted since you're gay and all….great, now I need to nap out a new idea!"

"Pierce!" Annie yelled before he could instantly fall asleep. She then turned back to Jeff, who still had no answers for her; at least none he could say in public. "Fine, go ahead and nap with Pierce! I hope you're all very relaxed while my mom's ruining my life again!" With that, Annie finally made her way out to face her mother's nitpicking.

Jeff told himself that it would all work out now, that Carol couldn't make Annie run away from Greendale without the tape, and that Annie would forgive them all like usual later. Besides, he had more than enough reveling to do in how he actually outsmarted an Edison until then. He was fully prepared to get started until he turned and saw the group glare at him. "Shouldn't you be heading to the study room now, Jeffrey?" Shirley questioned.

"And how did I get that job? Why don't you guys go over there and fix this? You messed her up long before I got here," Jeff pointed out.

"Even we didn't bring Chang here and set things up for Pierce to grope her! You pushed her overboard, you get to make sure she doesn't push Annie with her!" Britta demanded. "Plus I'm not going back in there with her, I did my time with her already! Then again, serving unfair amounts of time would be fitting for her, after what she said about-"

"Fine, I'll go! At least I can commute one life sentence around here!" Jeff conceded before leaving for the study room.

In truth, although he would have preferred to steer clear of the Edisons and trust that he had won, part of him was eager to see Carol fail without the tape as her secret weapon. Another part of him might have been a little….well, worried wasn't the right word. Whatever it was, it would be useless since Annie wouldn't let herself be controlled by her mother again; even if Annie looked pretty worried that she would. But that was just her underestimating herself before her big third act triumph, or so his inner Abed tried to reassure him.

In any case, by the time Jeff neared the study room, the extremely outer voices of Carol and Annie could be heard pretty clearly. "You do realize your resume for a real college will be completely ruined if you don't transfer now, right? It's already 90 percent ruined now, and I can only make it look 30 percent better at best! It could have been 60 percent if you reached out to me sooner, but now here we are," Jeff heard Carol finish warning before getting to the study room.

"Mom, this is a real college!" Annie insisted. But Carol scoffed and responded "Are you that desperate to not admit you were wrong that you would lie that badly? Don't you think this whole plan to get revenge on me by ruining your life has gone on long enough? You committed to it for over two years, so take comfort that you gave it a good run!"

"Mom, I'm not trying to revenge anyone! I'm just trying to make it on my own!" Annie pressed.

"And I was confident that you would, yet you're the one who's proven me wrong, not me," Carol tried to convince Annie. At that point, Jeff figured he had as good an opening as any to cut Carol down, let out a few gold Winger-isms he'd been saving all day, and be Annie's hero again without anything unpleasant being revealed.

"Well, that's a good way to revise history, even by Greendale standards," Jeff started off to get the Edisons to notice him. "But even at Greendale, fact genocide hasn't been completed yet."

"Ah, Jeffrey, I was wondering when you'd get here. Could I speak to you for a moment, please?" Carol asked as if she wasn't about to go down. Jeff nodded, figuring he could get his weaker setup lines out of the way in private and save the gold stuff for Annie to hear. Annie just looked more emotional and confused to see him, but he just smiled since she'd have her adoring Jeff face back on very soon.

Carol stood to the side of the study room couch with her back turned to Annie, waiting for Jeff to join her. When he got there and turned his back as well, he whispered "So how's it been since we last talked here? I'm pretty good myself, how about you?"

Instead of using words to respond, Carol just coughed a bit and nodded towards the couch. Jeff looked at the side of the couch and then trailed his gaze down; then his stomach dropped down with it.

The side of another small tape recorder could be seen lying behind the couch. One that was virtually identical to the one Jeff just destroyed. But the one he destroyed now clearly wasn't the right one at all.

"Did you really think I'd risk carrying around the real tape after I showed it to you here?" Carol whispered. "I waited until you left to hide it here….so congratulations for going all out to destroy a blank tape." Jeff had wondered why he had reached the group first after his last talk with Carol; but he certainly didn't wonder hard enough.

Carol had really planned this out so thoroughly that she brought two tape recorders, and set up Jeff to destroy the blank one so he'd feel victorious; until it was too late to realize he lost. "Annie's….mother," Jeff muttered, since that explained pretty much everything. As he spoke this, Carol took out a purple pen and dropped it to the ground.

"Oops!" Carol said out loud, before bending over to make it look like she was picking up the pen, which is what she wanted Annie to believe. But in fact, she was also taking the tape recorder out from behind the couch before putting it and the pen back in her pocket. With Carol covering the view to the side of the couch, Annie was none the wiser to it.

"Now I won't hold this against you, since I expected nothing better from you. But I will need to insist on silence from here on out, since this is your one and only do-over. Okay?" Carol asked sweetly before turning back to her daughter.

"What were you talking about? And what did you drop back there?" Annie carefully asked, as Carol answered her by just taking out the pen. "I was just showing Jeffrey the pen you can use to sign your transfer papers. I got a bit clumsy, but I think I recovered just fine."

"Mom, I'm not signing any transfer papers! Jeff, please go on with your fact genocide analogy! Tell her this is where I belong!"

For once, Jeff's ability to say anything was quite diminished. He could say something, but about 99 percent of what he could say would get that tape played, and there was no Chang or Pierce here to pull it out of Carol's pocket. He had wasted his one good desperate idea already, and now he had nothing left.

That inner Abed then tried to chime in since the inner Jeff was at a loss. It repeated all the reasons why telling the truth himself would serve as a good twist; or at least better than the other possible twists could. He could just confess right out and rob Carol of the chance to do it. He could leave Carol too surprised to respond while Jeff explained how she tried to blackmail him, and how this whole visit was designed to take Annie away from Greendale. He could apologize for accidentally inspiring Carol to do it and trust Annie to realize that it was an accident. If he wanted, he could even stop Annie from wondering why he went for an older woman that was reminiscent of her in the first place.

He could finally be the honest man who admitted mistakes, owned up to them and tried to be better for it…..the Jeff that Annie always insisted was there all along against all logic. He knew that was what he should do, and that he basically had no choice now.

Instead, he just said "Annie….isn't asking me to bail you out the exact opposite of being an adult? If you want to prove to your mother you are a grown up, I can't bail you out this time. I know you can set her straight more than I could, and look all the better for it."

"But Jeff, you don't know what she's capable of! I don't want to battle her all alone again, it barely worked before!" Annie pleaded.

"Oh, now that's being melodramatic," Carol argued. "It's all right, Jeffrey. I'm sure if Annie was in her right mind, she wouldn't want to keep you from your busy schedule." Jeff barely avoided biting his tongue before clenching his teeth, willing himself to keep forward with his…..strategic retreat.

"Jeff, what did she tell you back there? Why are you abandoning me because of it?" Annie tended to get more melodramatic when things spiraled out of control, and more guilt inducing. But perhaps for the first time ever, Annie wasn't making Jeff feel guiltier than Jeff himself was. This was why he didn't even have the strength to say another word to her as he backed away from the study room.

By the time he got far enough away, Jeff was already forgetting why he was letting himself run. Yet right on cue, his excuses kicked back in just as they did a few minutes ago. No matter how much sense it made to cut Carol off and tell Annie everything….he just didn't have it in him to do it. He didn't have it in him to make Annie be disgusted by him and stay away from him forever, no matter if it was for the right reasons. Even though she would be gone forever anyway….it was better to have Annie hate him for being a coward than it was to hate and be sickened by him….for other reasons. And eventually, she would forgive him by the time she had to leave him and Greendale, while she would never forgive him or…..care deeply about him again for those other reasons.

Jeff rarely cared about what others thought of him, yet Annie was the one giant exception. It was why he didn't want Annie to hate him like he knew she ultimately would if they….got closer. It was why he didn't want Annie to be ashamed for ever liking someone who would sleep with her mother instead of her. It was why he was so jealous when any other guy threatened to be more adored by Annie than he was. It was why he usually went out of his way to make things right when he let Annie down, when no one else would get that kind of commitment from him.

It was why he….

Oh well, it's not like admitting to himself what he really felt would make a big difference now.

"I don't understand…..Mom, whatever you did, you have to know this isn't like him," Jeff could hear Annie say since the study room door was still open. "He's normally always there for me, and so are the others. That's something I can't get at Princeton or anywhere else."

"You….depend on a man like that?" Jeff heard Carol question.

"Usually….I mean, he always redeems himself for making big mistakes by now…better than anyone else I've ever met. That's why I end up forgiving him for making those mistakes. Most of the time, he's the best man I know. That's one of the best reasons why I don't want to leave here, Mom."

Comparing Jeff to Annie's father was particularly unsettling today. However, that was hardly one of the top five things that made Jeff miserable about Annie's words. Her beautiful, sadly misguided words. Words that a better man would have done more to make absolutely true. Maybe one of those was outside of Greendale and could keep Annie from Carol's spell better than he could. Or maybe Carol would just sleep with him and tarnish him to the point of no return too.

"I'm….I'm so sorry, Annie. I can't do this anymore." Jeff's breakdown had to have imagined hearing Carol say that. Or maybe this was one of those twists where a magical speech from a pure hearted heroine would melt an icy heart and save the day. Abed poked holes in those kinds of lazy endings all the time, but Jeff would worship those movies forever if this turned out like them.

"I was willing to keep quiet so it wouldn't hurt you…..but you deserve to know the real truth about a man like that."

Well, so much for that lazy ending dream.

How in God's name did Jeff keep falling for these Edison tricks?

Now by running away and keeping quiet just like Carol wanted, he had given her the opportunity to tell the truth herself; her version of it. Jeff already looked so disappointing to Annie, thanks to Carol and his cowardice. So now Carol would get to make herself look like the victim and the guilt-ridden hero for coming clean. She was never going to not play the tape; she just got Jeff out of the way and quiet long enough for her to tell the truth her way.

Jeff was never good at trying to tell the truth when he actually had the chance. But somehow, he was always extremely quick at trying to do it just before he got caught. Yet it rarely worked; and even when he rushed back into the study room as fast as he could and yelled "Annie, I need to tell you something over here right now!" he knew it wouldn't this time.

And he was right, since Carol wasn't thrown off at all and had reached into her pocket to turn the audio tape on. It seemed she edited it to start off with Jeff saying "It'll be your word against mine, and she trusts my word much more than yours. She does look up to me against all logic, which makes her believe things like I'm a good person, and that I wouldn't sleep with her mother or tell her everything she's done at Greendale! So good luck bursting that bubble!"

"Is that what you wanted to say, Jeffrey? Something like that?" Carol innocently asked after turning the tape off.

On its own, that statement wasn't a definitive confession that Jeff slept with Carol. He could claim that he meant it sarcastically and that it was never specified what "your word" meant in context. He could throw this tape out blindfolded in the courtroom; but in the heat of this much more pressure packed moment and with Annie's eyes widening in a bad way for once, he was drawing a complete blank. As such, it was all too easy for Annie to put the pieces together that Carol had laid out for her.

"Y…..y….y….you….you…you and…and….h…h…him?" Annie choked out. Carol put on a convincing look of sorrow to confirm it. All Jeff could do was stare in blank horror, which confirmed it even more. All Annie could do was get even more bug eyed and pale than usual, and add a slack jaw to go with it.

"Annie…."was all Jeff could think to say, since he had nothing to follow up with. Nothing good, anyway. It pained him just to look at Annie as the horror overtook her, but if he looked away from her now, how much worse would he look? Yet as he looked away just a tiny bit, he saw from the corner of his eye that Carol was covering her ears.

Once again, Carol had outthought Jeff; this time by covering her ears just before Annie let out an ear piercing yell. One that even dwarfed those at the Model U.N. and at the beginning of the 'bottle episode' combined.

It almost blew Jeff back enough for him to fall the floor; yet Annie beat him to that too by fainting at the end of her yell.


	5. Annie's Heroism

Jeff should have used the time while Annie was out cold to think of some kind of defense or big speech before she woke up. But when Carol tried to get her up, Jeff had no choice but to just help her get Annie into Britta's chair. Another minute of very awkward silence ensued before they saw Annie coming to.

Carol was quicker to reach Annie, stroking her hair and trying to impersonate a soothing mother. "There we are, up and at them, sweetie," she encouraged. Jeff got into position next to her to try and talk Annie down first. But since this put both Carol and Jeff in Annie's eyesight, it took her faster to link them together, remember why she fainted, and back away from them in pure fright.

"Stay away from me! Don't stand so close together! Don't breathe the same air, don't picture each other naked…..oh God, you don't have to, you already saw it! What's happening?" Of course, Carol thought to get to Annie before she backed away further.

"I am so sorry, Annie. I didn't want to tell you, but you gave me no choice. I couldn't let you stay a minute longer without knowing about him, not anymore!" Carol excused.

"Annie, there is a less psychotic version of this, so if I may-" Jeff started before Carol cut him off. "Jeffrey, I'm her mother. You're just a younger ex-lover who chose to sleep with me instead of being Annie's older lover. I outrank you, and I actually told the truth, so I get to talk first."

"I don't know if I want to hear any of you talk again! That involves mouths, and your two mouths already….oh God, wake me up, Troy and Abed! Troy and Abed wake me in the morning!" Annie cried/sang out.

"Annie, unfortunately this is real," Carol jumped in. "We connected two nights ago, before I knew who he was. Then I found pictures of you and your friends in his house, and when I brought it up, he kept going on and on about you. How do you think it made me feel to sleep with a man so fixated on my Annie?"

"Oh, so now she's your Annie again?" Jeff tried to cut in.

"It's not like you were willing to make her yours first. No, you'd rather live out the fantasy with her mother! I knew I couldn't subject you to the likes of that, Annie! I've made too many mistakes with you to top it off like that!" Carol overacted.

"Annie, you can't possibly believe that!" Jeff defended. Yet Carol responded "Really? Name one thing I lied about so far. You actually slept with me, talked on and on about Annie afterwards, and had to be thinking about her somehow when you were with me. Tell me I made any of that up."

"Well, uh, um," Jeff stuttered, which was all he could do since Carol had indeed cornered him with the truth. "I wouldn't say….thinking about her….not during, anyway…." Jeff pathetically defended, which was hardly better than saying nothing at all. Annie just gasped and turned her head away from Jeff, which gave Carol the chance to jump in front of her completely.

"I wanted to get you out of here before you got with him, and he let….our thing slip out and break your heart. Yes, I got him to confess on tape to keep him quiet, but I only wanted him to think I'd play it! I was willing to keep quiet when he finally left! But when you said how much you trusted him, I knew I had no choice but to expose him before he fooled you further!" Carol lied.

"Lie, there's a lie, you made all that up so it's my turn to talk now!" Jeff objected.

"I'm the only one that's told the truth today, so who's more believable? I believe that still entitles me to the floor, counselor!" Carol retorted. Annie said nothing, assuming that she could even talk, so Carol took that to mean that she was allowed to keep talking.

"Annie, I know you're in love with him too. I gathered that much from my research yesterday and from your banter today. That's why I had to get you away from him and this place before you….consummated with him just like I did!" With that, Annie groaned again and bent over as she started to dry heave. Naturally, Carol blocked off Jeff before he could come to her aid, leaving her to bend down to her and rub her back.

"I really am sorry, dear. I didn't want to tell you, but I was so desperate to save you and redeem myself that I had no choice. I understand if you never want to see me again….more than usual. But let me do one thing right first. Let me get you into a new school so you can get away from him too. I mean, you certainly can't bring yourself to see him again….and since he leads your group, you can't go near them either, and without them, your heartbreak would trigger another meltdown! Better to get out now and start over at a college that doesn't allow this sort of madness! Let me help you find one of those proper schools….and afterwards, if you still can't stomach me, I will never bother you ever again. Then neither of us will ever get to remind you of….us again."

Jeff would have scoffed out loud if it wouldn't have freaked Annie out some more. There was no way that Carol would just let Annie never speak to her again after they found a new school. It would buy her just enough time to comfort her, suck her in and make Annie her obedient, robot clone pre-rehab self again.

But even if Annie was capable of hearing Jeff out, she could never believe him now. Although Carol was lying about her intentions, she was not lying about what he did. At this point, she did have more credibility than he did, and she wasn't…..100 percent to blame.

Jeff tried to build himself up to still go after Carol anyway. But when Annie finally stood straight up again, she looked at Carol, then looked at Jeff with shock, sadness and betrayal written all over her. Her usual sad face was already Jeff's Kryptonite, but this face; and the fact that such a terrible sight was possible because of him; nearly made him keel over. It certainly didn't get him to start talking, as there was nothing adequate or good enough to really say.

Annie turned back to her mother again, her face now forming the more typical Disney tears. She wasn't saying anything or conceding to Carol's demands, but she certainly seemed more comfortable around her than Jeff by comparison. Because she had sold her case far better than Jeff could. Because she was the superior opponent. Because even she hadn't broken Annie's heart on as many levels as Jeff did. Because Jeff just tarnished her Greendale life almost as badly as Adderall ruined her high school career. Because he had lost and Carol had decidedly won.

The nail went deeper into Jeff's coffin when Annie leaned forward and let Carol hug her. It made sense since she was the only one brave enough to actually offer comfort for hurting Annie, whether it was faked or not. "There's my little Annie….it's okay, it's okay. It's finally going to be okay," Carol promised in a soothing tone that Jeff couldn't help but picture as a sinister threat. But his window of opportunity to stop that threat was truly over; and now the world would suffer for it by losing….his version of Annie.

Jeff was just glad that he didn't see Carol's face and whatever hidden smirks it might have, since her back was turned. Sadly, he could still see Annie's face on Carol's shoulder, as her eyes were closed and she was likely still holding back tears.

As Carol stroked her back and kept reassuring Annie, Jeff did see that Annie's eyes weren't shut as tight as before. After a few more seconds, he started to notice her face slide back to normal, although her eyes remained closed. But it was becoming clear that gears were starting to turn in her head, just like with the old Annie. Soon enough, she opened her eyes slowly, although she did not bring herself to look at Jeff.

She looked at the back of her mother's head, then looked straight ahead again, and her facial muscles began to shift again. She was clearly thinking a mile a minute, another sign that the old Annie wasn't dead yet. She kept glancing at her mother's head, and the more she did so and the more she heard Carol say that it would be okay, she began to look upset again. Only this wasn't the same kind of upset as before. This was something different….something emotional but a bit less hysterical. Like it was being flooded with grave truths that she was coming to terms with right in front of Jeff.

And then her worry turned into something else. It turned into something more….formidable. And not the girlish formidable face that Annie used to guilt Jeff into putting an effort. This was something harder. But it wasn't the icy Carol Edison face that Jeff feared Annie would adopt if she gave into her mother. Instead, this face was becoming more determined, resolute and filled with an emboldened, righteous will.

It was every bit Jeff's Annie, and something much more.

It certainly wasn't Carol's Annie; especially when she broke from Carol's embrace and took a step back from her.

"Well….that was a bit rude, but I suppose it's excusable this time," Carol grudgingly accepted. "Now come on, let's go get those transfer papers. We'll go back to your old room and pick out which school to send them to."

If Carol didn't notice Annie's changed mood when she said that, she did notice when Annie didn't follow her out of the study room. Instead, she stayed right where she was even when Carol came back. "Annie, there's no sense indulging in last looks. Let's just go and start putting this behind us." But still, Annie did not move. "Annie, there's also no point in getting cold feet either. Let's go before you make another spectacle of yourself." But still, Annie didn't move a muscle.

"Annie, this isn't funny. You can get emotional in your old bed if you want, but we're leaving right now." Still no budge. "Annie, stop making a scene! We are leaving right now!"

This time Carol grabbed Annie's left wrist to pull her out. But before Jeff could finally step in and before Carol could start pulling, Annie pulled her arm back and broke free instantly. An appalled Carol now fully caught sight of Annie looking angrier than Jeff had ever seen her; and probably more angry than what Carol was used to. Yet instead of screaming, Annie took a few deep breaths and started talking in a calm but forceful tone, while still keeping a deep frown on her face.

"I'm not going to make a scene, Mom, so don't worry. I would like you to leave by yourself now. You can come back here tomorrow and we can talk some more if you want. But if you manipulate my friends and make them act out again, I will get Chang to pat you down next time and he won't just stop at your pockets. You can come to my apartment….my actual home, if you want to avoid that and talk. But if you accuse Troy and Abed of being inappropriate roommates, I'll get Abed to act out the entire 'wretched' Kickpuncher series in front of you. And trust me, walking away from him will not spare you. You can still call if you want….but if you do or say anything to try and make me hate my school, my friends and my life, I will give Britta your address and directions to your house. Then you'll be the one who has to move out of there to get away from someone. Do you understand, Mom?"

Jeff was slack jawed for the millionth time today; and for the first time it was in a good way. But Carol's slack jaw was purely from shock and anger. Once she recovered, she started talking quietly herself, only with less of a contained rage.

"How dare you. I'm the one who came down here to save you, and what's left of the family name you're trying to ruin. I could have left you at the mercy of this pedophile, but I chose to bail you out, and I revealed my own shame in the process! And this is the thanks you're giving me?" Now her rage was getting less contained and steadily louder, in spite of her own hatred for making public spectacles. "I try taking you back in after all you did to us, and this is what comes of it? Did the drugs kill that many of your brain cells, you….you spineless, ungrateful, bratty child?"

That was the limit to how much Jeff was willing to let Carol talk. But before he could finally tear into her, Annie tore into him even deeper by pointing a finger at him, turning her deep frown at him and ordering "Don't! You wanted me to do this myself, remember?"

Once more, shame forced Jeff into keeping quieting; but this time he at least had Annie's grand spectacle to watch in the meantime. So he watched eagerly as Annie turned her most formidable frown back toward her mother. "I think I've made my terms very clear. If you can't accept them, or me….then I guess this is good-bye for good, Carol."

While Carol was frowning just as deeply as Annie, her face was seething much more and about set to explode, even as Annie's face was stone calm. It even stayed stone when Carol finally went off in a very Annie-like breakdown; albeit a much less graceful one. "Fine! Be as insane as you want, then! I'll just make sure I legally disown you before you crash through another plate glass window or get knocked up! No one could blame me for cutting my losses then! I might even become a media darling after you get institutionalized! So just you wait until my memoirs come out, kiddo!"

Carol was stomping around even worse than Annie in one of her out-of-control rages, but she finally got herself near the exit a while later. "I hope you and your cradle robbing, Mommy loving sugar 'daddy' are very happy together!" she screamed at them before turning to leave; only to run into Dean Pelton as he was coming in with a Ronald Reagan mask on. "Dean down this wall, people!"

"Oh, just make out with Winger already, freak!" Carol spat out before marching away at last. Dean Pelton just watched her stomp away and then chuckled nervously as Jeff, stating "Heh…someone's got a case of the Dean-M-S, am I right?" But with neither Jeff nor Annie laughing, Pelton actually figured out he wasn't wanted for once and sulked away accordingly.

In another first for today, Jeff was almost sad that Pelton actually took the hint so soon, since this just left him to face the wrath of the last remaining Edison. Unfortunately, this Edison's wrath was more righteous, less comically evil and clearly even more intimidating. But it had been so…..unbelievably incredible in defeating Carol, Jeff conceded that it deserved to go off on him too. "Annie…." Jeff started out yet again, and was once again cut off.

"Jeff, I don't want to hear it," Annie stated, although there was a bit more of a quiver to her angry voice than there was for Carol. "All I want to hear is the truth from you, for once. If you want to apologize, you tell me everything you did with my mother….except the naked parts….and what the hell you were doing with her and me today. And you tell me right now."

Jeff was pathologically incapable of telling the truth and confessing his misdeeds when it might have counted. But being dragged kicking and screaming into confessing when it was too late and when there were no other excuses left…..this he could do just fine.

"Okay…..yes, I slept with your mother on Saturday. No, I had no idea it was your mother until today. But yes, I was probably thinking of you on some level when I hooked up with her. Yes, she found out we were friends and she tricked me into telling her everything about you. Yes, I probably went on and on about you because….it's easy for me to go on and on praising you. And yes, she came here and tried to make you leave Greendale because of what I told her. Then she tricked me into admitting our…..tryst on tape, and I sent Chang after her to get the tape….and it wasn't even the right tape. And I didn't tell you the truth myself, because I didn't want you to be grossed out, hate me or….stop caring so much about me. But since everything horrible that happened to you today was because of me….I guess it's too late for that now."

Annie's frown didn't go away, although her face was starting to get a little soft again. She still looked both sad and angry at the same time, so Jeff had no idea where he stood now. Yet her voice got calm again when she finally responded "Okay….thank you. Now I'd like you to leave too."

"Annie, please, I'm-" Jeff started although he knew he would get cut off again, which he did.

"Jeff, please! I'm not going back to her, I'm not leaving Greendale or the group, and I would rather die than tell the others about….that tape! I just need a few days by myself to….process all of this. You can tell the group that I only needed time to recover from Mom….I'm pretty sure they'll buy that after today. But just….just give me this much, please…."

"Okay….you got it," Jeff conceded as Annie went to sit back in her regular chair. She wiped her eyes and resumed breathing normally, trying not to look directly at Jeff as he started making his way out. But as Jeff began to come down a bit as well, he tried to give her a last look that showed both how sorry he was, and how incredibly proud he was of her for defeating Carol once and for all.

If only he had realized sooner that that Annie was there all along, and transcended any age above 18; even between 19 and 21. If he had only admitted a lot of things before Saturday night.

All Jeff could do was hope that the memories of Annie's heroism would sustain him for the next few days; or at least balance out memories of her more disappointed and betrayed emotions. He hoped never to see those again, yet he knew who to blame if that wish didn't come true. Well, who else to blame, anyway.

**Final chapter to come on Christmas morning**.


	6. The Right Edison

In the next three days, Annie kept true to her word and stayed away from both Jeff and the group. Somehow, Jeff managed to tell the group what happened while editing out every trace of his real role in it. Fortunately, the others bought it and did their best to give Annie her space. And according to Troy and Abed, they stopped trying to invite her to their Dreamatorium and imagine herself a new mother after the first day.

It was pretty hard for the group when she sat away from them in class and when she wasn't there to bail them out in studying. Of course, the strain that the others felt over her absence had nothing on Jeff's. Whatever strength he had was spent on not looking like he had no strength left to the group, so they couldn't poke more holes in his story. It used to be that putting an effort into looking careless wasn't necessary, but that was what Annie did to you; even when she wasn't there.

As such, Jeff thought he was hallucinating at first on Friday morning, when he arrived in the study room and saw Annie sitting in her usual seat; just like the last time he saw her. But when the rest of the group confirmed she was really there, Jeff only felt slightly better. He wasn't cracking up, yet now it was actually time to face Annie full time for what he'd done. At least he wasn't alone in this first post "I slept with your evil mother" scene, so maybe this would be a good warm up.

Fortunately, Annie got up from her seat and walked over to the group, so it didn't look completely like the end of their last meeting. And her focus seemed to be on the group and not Jeff in particular; although he could swear she was looking more at those around him. Perhaps she wanted to warm up by seeing the whole group before facing him one on one too.

"Guys, I'm really sorry. Not just for ignoring you lately, but….for trying to make you change for my mother. It just played right into her hands, and you couldn't help but go nuts because of her. Trust me, no one needs to apologize for that." Jeff tried not to hope that this was a coded message of forgiveness to him; even if it would be unearned on his part and anticlimactic.

"Are you….not nuts anymore now that the Mom-stapo is gone?" Britta asked. Annie actually laughed at her pun, which had to be a good sign; or one that she had finally permanently cracked.

"I'm fine, Britta. I said what I needed to say to her, and I should have said it before I let her meet you. I love you guys for all of who you are, even the annoying unscripted parts….you taught me to do that a lot better than she ever did." Jeff somehow managed to pretend that he didn't hope "guys" was Annie-code for Jeff. "Oh, and this week's notes are in my backpack and in personalized folders for you," Annie concluded.

"Oh, praise your Jewish God! Just let him know it's a one-time praise, okay?" Shirley insisted. Annie just giggled as if the last four days never happened, and went in for a full group hug. Usually Jeff triggered the group hugs, but it was probably for the best that he was in the back of this one. It seemed Annie could act like her old self in front of the group, since it was easier to make up with them. But her and Jeff were likely something else entirely.

Jeff got that feeling again when they broke apart and sat back in their chairs, as Annie didn't look at him on her way back. When she got out her folders of notes for the group, she passed Jeff's to him with only a little fleeting glance; a blank one and not the bubbly ones she usually had for him. Naturally, it seemed Abed had taken note, but Jeff gave him a glare of his own to make him keep it to himself. Yet Abed had been thankfully discreet about his knowledge of Jeff's situation, and his likely deductions of what really happened on Monday. So Jeff figured he owed him one at some point.

Of course, Jeff had bigger debts he needed to repay first. But he couldn't as long as he and Annie weren't alone together, which was hard enough to wait for when she wasn't in the group. Now that she was back, the fact that they still weren't speaking to each other hit even harder today.

Ignoring issues and waiting for them to be swept away deep down was Jeff's normal speed in his Annie pattern. It usually took a few days before Annie talked to Jeff like normal again and started their cycle anew. But if Jeff couldn't even endure this one day, the next week wasn't going to be any better.

Besides, this was…..uncharted territory and several days of awkward silence could stretch out to a whole semester this time. Given that there were only three semesters left to go in Greendale, this wasn't the time to waste away one of them.

So when Jeff finally saw Annie by herself, he swore to take action; even if she was sitting in the same lounge area where Carol set up her fight with the group. Yet before he went over to the couch, Jeff willed himself to actually think this through, like an Edison would; or at least just one Edison. It was probably way too soon for Annie to hear most of the things Jeff wanted to say. But he realized he could get through the long wait if there wasn't this awkward silence in the meantime.

As such, he revised his goal and came over just looking to somehow break the ice. To his credit, he did think of a good way to do it before he sat down. That helped Jeff act quickly when Annie noticed him and looked like she was straining not to get up and leave.

"Annie, I'm not here to talk about…." Jeff just circled his hand around the area to indicate the two of them. "Or about…" Jeff then circled his hand away from them to try and symbolize him and Carol. Annie got the meaning and was trying not to look grossed out, although part of her face was still scrunching up. But Jeff pressed on and offered, "I just want to ask one question, and then I won't bother you again until you're ready to bother me. Okay?"

Annie returned her face to normal as she thought this through, and as Jeff tried not to wish that her face would be Disney-fied around him soon. He couldn't afford to dream that big right now, as he had to aim smaller for now. This made it even more of a relief when Annie answered, "Okay. What do you want to know?"

Jeff kept his relief in check, calling to mind one of the questions that had been needling him since Monday. It wasn't the only question he wanted to eventually ask Annie, yet this would do for a start. "When you hugged Carol, I thought she did get you back in her Mom-stapo. But then I saw you thinking and turning those brain gears in that Annie way of yours. Then you came up with the greatest speech in study room history, even bigger than mine! So my actual question is….how did you break her spell, exactly?"

Annie didn't say anything for a while, so Jeff steeled himself in case it was too soon for her to go into this. However, she once again managed to break her silence, this time with more than a six word question.

"I didn't hug her because she convinced me to go. I just needed someone to hold me and calm me down, and you…." Now Annie waved her hands to show that hugging Jeff wasn't an option then. "You might not believe it, but she wasn't always….what you saw this week. She actually did hug me and comfort me and make me feel like I was her little girl once. Probably because I actually did everything she said back then. When she hugged me on Monday, it made me remember all that….and then I almost did want to get away from Greendale and you and go back with her. I wanted at least one thing left to count on and help me…." Annie then trailed off either for dramatic effect or because she'd ran out of words.

"So we're up to when you opened your eyes and kept looking at her. And then?" Jeff urged on.

"Then I remembered when she didn't help me too. I guess her calming me down gave me a clear head to remember things like that." Jeff barely kept from chuckling at how that was Carol's undoing. "I mean, she cut me off when I wanted to cure my addiction, and then she's hugging me and promising to help me get over….this thing? That didn't make sense, and I know now that people don't change instantly like that. No matter how much you try to nag and force them to." Jeff knew that he probably taught Annie that the hard way, so he just took the dig and let her go on.

"It didn't take me long to work out the rest. How she obviously manipulated my friends and blackmailed you to keep quiet. Then she played that tape anyway just to traumatize me so I'd go back to her! What kind of person toys with her own daughter like that?" Annie was getting louder than she did in her big speeches on Monday, so she got herself to quiet down again. "Then it hit me that she wanted me to be that person. That she would have made me that person if I stayed with her, then and now. It wouldn't have taken much…..like I said, a lot of her is still in me, and vice versa. You sensed that even before Monday."

Jeff lost his chance to deny that on Monday, and this wasn't the time to get in a final denial now. So he again took that dig at him in silence and let Annie finish. "But I got myself in rehab and came here because I didn't want to be like that. I don't want to run from my problems, just because dealing with them doesn't look good to strangers. I don't want to manipulate people I'm supposed to care about, or make their feelings less important to me than mine. I've done that a few times here already, and look how that turned out." Memories of how Annie ratted out Chang and nearly derailed Jeff's four-year Greendale plan ran through his head, before they remembered this wasn't the time to show up.

"I want to take the good things I got from Mom and use them better than she did. I want to have a career and a family and keep them both longer than 13 years. I want to share my abilities with everyone I can and not just 'proper' people. I want to maybe have fun someday that isn't planned out to the minute! And I never, ever want to abandon people I care about, and not be there for them in every way when they really need me…..like she wasn't with me. I couldn't have done all that if I went with her and left Greendale…..so I realized I had to be the one to cut her off this time. And here I am."

"Yeah…" was all Jeff could say as his Annie pedestal went higher than ever before. More than ever, he regretted all the times he dismissed her as a naïve do-gooder, now that he knew where that really came from. Eventually he added "Well, I don't think you'll have to worry about that ever again now." Annie nodded and tried to form a small, hopeful smile, yet Jeff concluded that even that was hard in front of him. In any case, he did get his answer, so it would have to do for this reunion.

"You know, as long as you're here, there's something I should ask you too." Jeff cursed himself for thinking this could possibly end so simply. But if they were going to go forward before the end of 2013, Annie would have to get in a few rants at him eventually. So Jeff stayed put and waited for her to lay into him.

"You left me with her in the study room because she showed you that backup tape. I know she was going to play it no matter what either of us did. But if she actually kept her word and didn't rat you out….would you have let her take me away from here?" That wasn't a rant, but Jeff was sure it would inspire one once he told her the answer. Yet after she poured her heart out, Jeff knew he owed her at least a spoonful of his.

"At that time….yes. I knew what she'd do to you if she won, but I didn't want to…..go all out to stop her. I cared more about you hating me and being grossed out by me if the truth got out, not more about actually trying to help you. I knew that and I still left you alone with her until she exposed me." Yet once Jeff saw Annie's face crumbling again, he added a postscript to his answer. "But the guilt was already driving me crazy even then. In another day or two, I knew I would have cracked up and tried to make up for my mistakes, like usual when it's too late. So by the end, I'm sure I would have played it myself if it got you away from her."

"Jeff, you go out of your way not to feel guilty for anything, even when it doesn't work. And you went all out not to expose yourself to me on Monday. Why would you have changed all that for me in the end?"

This was a loaded question, but not an unfamiliar one. Once again, even now, Annie was asking Jeff to say what he really felt about her, and why he would do more for her than anyone else he ever knew. And once again, Jeff didn't know how to answer.

It wasn't because he didn't know or didn't want to know. He knew exactly why, and he knew what he should say to answer her. He knew full well what three words to say to her; but he couldn't say them. Not because he didn't want to admit it to her or himself, or didn't want anyone else to know; but because this really wasn't the right time for them. Things were confusing and hard enough for Annie without Jeff finally saying….those words she likely dreamed of hearing from him before Monday.

The minute that it was okay to say those words to her, Jeff wanted to will himself to do it. Yet doing it now would just make things worse instead of instantly better. However, it hit him that there were other words he wanted to say and could say.

He had used the…..words he couldn't say yet a bunch of times before, and they wound up meaning nothing before long. But these new words were ones that Jeff had never said to another living or dead soul in his life. Hopefully Annie would realize that, see how significant it was even if it wasn't….those other words, and take it the right way.

"Because you're my best friend, Annie. You're pretty much the best friend I've ever had. Definitely the best person I know, too. I don't ever want to give up something like that for good, even if I go nuts for a little while. I mean, I'm not Carol."

And there it was. Jeff finally said something heartfelt and he had to mess it up at the finish line. Abed would say that it helped his character stay realistic by not suddenly becoming flawless. Yet Jeff was now convinced that reality was overrated.

Despite all those confessions, he messed it up by comparing himself to Carol; even if it was to show how he wouldn't abandon Annie like she did. But all it likely did was remind Annie that although Jeff wasn't Carol, he slept with her anyway. And in spite of how strongly Jeff said he felt about Annie, he still slept with her rotten mother after doing everything not to sleep with or get close to her.

No matter what Jeff and Annie became or didn't become now, that would always hang over them in some way and make everything awkward; even by their standards. And no big speech or confession would change that right now, if ever again. In spite of how Jeff was finally on the same emotional page with Annie; or at least her old page; it was ruined by this one final series of mistakes along the way. Too big for even him to totally make up for, and maybe too big for even Annie to totally forgive and forget.

With that putting a damper on the moment, Jeff got himself up and left the lounge area. And Annie stayed on the couch and didn't make a sound to him or anyone else.

They weren't alone together for the rest of the day, and Jeff made extra sure not to be bothered for most of Saturday. But by Saturday night, he felt masochistic enough to go back to the same bar where he first met Carol exactly one week ago. Since last week was her allotted time to hook up with someone, Jeff was sure he wouldn't run into her and get his head bitten off. Yet on the off chance he was wrong again, he wasn't sure he would really fight to keep his head. Not when it was torturing him for a week and likely wouldn't stop for a long time.

Jeff didn't even drink too much, as he wanted to stay sober enough to leave the bar by himself this time. Yet one of the bartenders soon approached him and laid down his favorite drink. "A young woman asked me to give this to you," Jeff was informed. Normally this would be a pretty good setup for a lucky night; normally.

"Tell her I wouldn't be good company for a young woman tonight. In fact, you make sure the older women know that too, just in case," Jeff explained.

"She said you might say something like that. But she told me you'd change your mind when I said this was from Caroline Decker."

No. Freaking. Way.

But when Jeff scanned the bar, he soon found Caroline Decker herself sitting at one of the booths. At that moment, Caroline – in the form of alter ego Annie Edison – smiled and waved him over. As if absolutely nothing had happened in the past week. As if she wasn't in the exact same bar where Jeff picked up her mother and triggered a week from hell. As if she didn't probably already know that and came here anyway; and as if she didn't just reuse an alter ego with virtually the same first name as her mother.

Since none of that was true, Jeff figured he would take a drink now. The fact that Annie ordered it for him did explain why it was his favorite, so at least she was softening him up. She probably made extra sure that the bartender called her a young woman too, just for another in joke/guilt trip. After gulping down half the glass, Jeff took the rest with him and went to Annie's booth to sit across from her. "What the hell, Decker?" was all Jeff could ask as an intro.

"Well, fancy my Texas mind finally finding you!" Annie exclaimed in her Caroline Decker accent. "I went through three bars until I found the one you were at last week! And heavens to Corpus Christi, you're back here just like I thought! Guess I can leave my hog-tying rope outside with my motorcycle after all, y'all!" Annie then giggled and reverted back to her old voice, saying "Took me three bar trips to get that line perfect!"

"Why….are you working through lines in bars? Why are you working them in _this _bar? Why did you _want _to say them in _this_ bar? And why…..why _Caroline_?" Jeff asked incredulously.

"Why are _you_ back here too?" Annie asked right back. "Like I said, you don't let yourself feel guilty that often. But you're pretty predictable when you do, and you should be, too."

So Annie wanted to drop the hammer on him at the scene of his first crime. Made sense in a twisted Annie way. "Jeff, it's going to be a very long time before I can look at you….the same way I did a week ago. You know why, and I'm sure you knew why the second you saw my mother come in on Monday morning. On top of that, you helped make this week a nightmare for me, and I had to pretty much get out of it by myself. You really should be back here feeling sorry for yourself….but I don't think it should be that easy for you."

Jeff sat there willing to let Annie eviscerate him; but as she went on, he noticed that her formidable face was softening just a little bit. She still had a serious look, and yet there was just the tiniest hint of the regular, sweet Annie there. This made Jeff more curious as to where she was going with this. "So how are you supposed to make this any harder?" Jeff asked curiously.

"You could just come here tonight, get drunk, pick up someone else to forget about me and put this behind you. I don't believe you've earned that easy way out." Despite her threatening words, now Jeff sensed a little warmth behind Annie's eyes and tightened lips. And although her next words had a menacing look to them, the tone was playful and tongue-in-cheek and in no way inherited from her mother.

"That's why you're going to sit here with a younger Edison this Saturday night. And you're going to do it right here next week, and the next week, and maybe for a few weeks after that. Think of it….every Saturday night, you'll be with me on the anniversary of the day you were with my mother in this very bar. Try running away from what you've done then….but I won't let you forget until I've rubbed it in and made you suffer enough. Still, if you wind up having fun and feeling better after a while, I guess I could concede defeat. Just know that I'm a sore loser….must be from my mother's side or something."

She was actually screwing with him. After all that happened, Annie Edison was actually having fun putting the screws to Jeff. And she was using this little "revenge" scheme as a gesture of reconciliation. She wasn't promising to get together or totally brush aside what happened….she was just giving Jeff a chance to have a do-over at this bar with a younger Edison. A whole series of do-overs, at that. There's no way it could be completely comfortable, for either of them….but she seemed willing to work through that with him together.

Then again, she did say she never wanted to run away from her problems again; or abandon someone in need that she cared about. And for some reason, that still applied to him.

Jeff thought for so long that she was naïve and childish for feeling something for a guy like him. Truthfully, it made even less sense than ever before now. At this moment, however, he would take naïve and childish over all the cynicism in the world; although he knew better to believe that really defined Annie anymore.

But being Jeff, he still had to give Annie a way out before she attached herself to him again. "As elaborate as your evil plan is, you don't have to follow through to prove you're not her. Not wanting to be around me doesn't make you Carol. I didn't do anything to earn this little revenge scheme….you're the one that saved yourself from her on your own again."

"I know. This isn't just for you, I have some….things I've got to get through too. I could do it by myself, but I've had to do that too much this week. I like knowing I can work things out on my own, but it's easier and more fun with a…..best friend who's on probation. Don't you think?"

Whether Annie actually knew what else Jeff had "best friend" stand for, or was ready to figure it out, none of those concerns mattered at the moment. In fact, there were no concerns that mattered at all for the first time in about a week. Right now, instead of feeling hopeless or guilty or worried or….other feelings he wasn't denying anymore; Jeff just felt like bantering with his friend again.

"In that case, I'm sorry….sorry that I'd like to talk to Caroline for a bit again. Can you get her back here?" The return of Annie's Disney smile, followed by her muttering vocal warm-ups in her Caroline Decker voice, suggested it was a yes. When she was finished, Jeff started the bit by asking "So Caroline….I didn't ask you about your name last time we met. Is it a family name?"

Although alluding to Carol might still be a bit dangerous and awkward even now, Annie brushed it aside and answered in her Caroline Decker twang. "Yep, I got it right from my good old momma, all right!" Jeff couldn't help but laugh at how Annie strained to pronounce "momma" in improper grammer. "She's a real piece of work, my momma! She drinks all the time, makes a scene at every party, and she even ran through a barn door once! She's the talk of the town in a pretty scandalous way….if you care about that sort of five dollar word."

"Clearly she doesn't. It's too bad, she sounds better than other women her age that I know," Jeff played along further.

"That's funny, the big city folk that sell her Vicodin say the same thing," Caroline/Annie answered before the three people in the booth nearly choked on their laughter.

They went on with this bit for several more minutes, as they kept making Caroline's mother look like everything Carol hated. Eventually Caroline became Annie again, sharing with Jeff how she spent all afternoon rehearsing and figuring out what drug to have Mrs. Caroline addicted to. Jeff went on to tell Annie what she missed at the study room this week; which he actually paid attention to since he needed some kind of distraction from Annie. He didn't actually say that, but he and Annie knew that it was implied.

For the second straight Saturday, Jeff spent a good 60-90 minutes or so chatting with an Edison at this bar. And for the second straight Saturday, he left the bar with an Edison. Yet in this case, he didn't take the younger version to his apartment and have his way with her. He just escorted her back to her own apartment and didn't even come in with her. They didn't even kiss before she went inside, as all they did was hug for a few still somewhat awkward moments.

But seeing that Jeff was actually the one to initiate this hug, and that Annie did say "We really should do this again sometime,"; and the small fact that he was with the right Edison this time; it blew the last Saturday out of the water without a fight. The next Saturday would probably do that as well, and the next one and the one after that. And if one of them finally ended like the one with the older Edison did, it would surely blow away that Saturday and all other Saturdays before it too.

That Saturday night could still be a very long way away. Yet after waiting the wrong way for it for two years, Jeff was going to get this waiting period right. He didn't do much of anything to earn this last chance, but by the grace and boundless mercy of Annie, he was not going to screw up with her again. Or at least never again to the extent he had before.

He had a feeling that when he eventually spent the whole night with an Edison again, and he blabbed on and on about Annie the next morning, Annie would be much happier about the aftermath on that Monday….and the various Mondays after that.

THE END


End file.
